Big Brother. Best Friend.
Wide eyes and a huge playful smile.
Jude has a special facial expression reserved just for her brother Miller. It’s like equal parts excitement and admiration.
She runs up to him, arms raised, hoping he’ll pick her up. She’s getting bigger now so that’s getting more difficult. She laughs anytime he does anything. But the real story is – there’s nobody that Jude interacts with like her brother.
And I get it. He’s really been her best friend.
Right now, Jude doesn’t have traditional friends in her life. Friends that invite her over. Friends that take her places. When you live with a disability that stunts your ability to socialize in traditional ways, you’re left with few options.
So that leaves Miller.
Miller is a neuro-typical, smart, and funny young man. If I write any more about him he may feel exposed or upset so I’ll leave it at that.
But when it comes to parenting a special needs child and a neuro-typical child, there are many challenging situations, thoughts, questions, experiences, and realizations. Here are a few from our family.
We have no sense of time. One child is developing at warp speed and the other is developing extremely slow. As parents we’re stuck somewhere in the middle, managing both extremes.
I don’t know if we unintentionally limit Miller because we’re accustomed to doing more for Jude – or if we’re expecting too much of him because he can be more independent.
In some ways it’s like Miller is an only child and Jude is an only child – they’re just being raised in the same household at the same time.
Is Miller shying away from attention because his sister draws unwanted attention at church, grocery stores, school functions, and everywhere else?
No parent has all the answers and we’re no different. With God’s grace we simply put one foot in front of the other, trusting Him to lead us and work it all out.
Someday we’ll be able to look back at this time and be able to better articulate how God used Jude to shape Miller’s life, personality, beliefs, and character.
But for now, we get the surprise gift of a lifetime. We have a front row seat to watch them develop and watch their friendship grow.