Just For Fun.

It’s been a hard week. 

The House Judiciary Committee testimony, a boring Super Bowl complete with controversy. Sickness. Winter. 

I thought we could all use some lightheartedness. I’m going to share some of the funnier and wilder times that I’ve had as a parent. My only goal? To entertain and help you lay down the heaviness. 

Here’s to relief. 

Slap Happy
Jude went through a phase where she hit everyone in the face. Her favorite person to hit? Her mom. During one slapping spell, Megan looked away to protect herself. Jude wasn’t done. She grabbed Megan’s chin and guided her head back around so they were eye-to-eye. Then continued the slap attack. 

Urinal Cake
I got a call from a Principal telling me that Miller had held a kids head to the urinal and told him to lick it. I was furious. I was concerned that Miller was a bully. But then, when I picked him up, he told me who it was. The “victim” was a punk kid that had given Miller problems for a long time. They even had issues at daycare together. It took everything I had not to say “well, did he lick it?”

I’m Crazy
On vacation, Miller made a concoction in his drink cup after the meal. He had sweet tea, fries, hot sauce, ranch, pickles, salt, pepper, you name it. I thought it was a parenting opportunity. I took the cup and asked Miller, “you know why you never mess with me?” I proceeded to tip the cup. I chugged every last chunky bit of that mess. I slammed the cup down and answered my own question with “because I’M CRAZY!!!” Miller’s eyes were huge. He couldn’t believe it. And it made Megan sick. 

Smell Safari
On a trip to Disney World, we were at Animal Kingdom and had a fast pass for the Kilimanjaro Safari ride. Jude had been constipated all week. She chose this moment to drop a brick in her diaper. Megan and I didn’t know what to do. We only had the fast pass for a limited time. I asked Megan, “does this ride ever smell? I mean, it’s got all the animals.” She shrugged and said “sometimes”.  We went on the ride. I’m not sure if anyone noticed. 

Larry You Had One Job
Our brother-in-law offered to watch Jude as Miller prepped for some type of dolphin encounter at Gulf World. We were in the room waiting our turn and the rest of our crew was watching the dolphin trainers by the tanks. Jude, in perfect Jude fashion, was watching YouTube on my phone during the performance. I guess she got bored because she bolted. Ran away from Larry and chucked the phone into the deep dolphin tank. The trainer had to dive down and get it. It was a company phone and I had to describe what happened to our accounting team.

Have a great weekend. Don’t forget to lay your burdens down. They’re heavy.