Seeking Depth.

A friend of mine, Eric, sent me a parody song this week. He simply sent the link and a message that said “when you realize what this song is about”. 

I gave it a listen. I was lost. 

I asked for clarification. He responded, “The One Where the Bald Guy Sicced Two Bears on 42 Kids for Making Fun of Him.’

I thought it was a Florida headline news story. 

We talked later and he clarified that the song referenced Elisha in 2 Kings 2:23. He mentioned it was even one of our Pastor’s favorite Bible stories. 

How did I miss this? How is this possible? I’ve been in church my entire life. How do I not remember a story this epic? 

I felt like the great theologian, Ignatio Nacho Libre. “They don’t think I know a buttload of crap about the Gospel, but I do. OK?”

The truth? I only know Sunday school’s greatest hits.

The entire incident reminded me of something I’ve been struggling with for a few years, all while God has been patient and gracious. 

Depth. 

I desire wisdom, but I don’t read. I want to know the Bible, but don’t study. I want to help others, all while taking more than I give.

I feel like my entire struggle with depth is rooted in being a special needs parent. 

As a parent, I struggle to have an accurate view of reality. Yes, Jude has some additional needs, but is she really more difficult than any 12-year-old? In some ways yes, in other ways not at all. Her extra demands grind against my quest for comfort causing consistent friction. And since I love to idolize my pain I exaggerate it. Even know I’m doing it. I’m calling discomfort or inconvenience “pain”. 

In the end, my inaccurate view of reality leads me to consistently seek escape. It leads to me seeking mind-numbing pursuits like scrolling or TV. It keeps most worthy pursuits just out of arms reach. 

I pray for God to help me avoid growing a mile wide and an inch deep. I pray I fall in love with the Bible. I pray that I can carve out time for the meaningful. 

Because He desires my heart.

Because my readers deserve depth.