You Get What You Need.

9:06 a.m. 

That’s when God answered my prayer. 

I looked down at the clock in my truck because He made such quick work of what I thought were bigger problems. 

We prayed as a family the night before. When we pray, we all choose something to pray about. Then I lead it because, for Miller and Megan, praying in front two family members is too much like public speaking. The prayers are usually for us, sometimes for others. It’s not fancy and it doesn’t take long, but attempt every weekday. 

That particular evening, I chose two situations at work. I had two customer issues that I needed to troubleshoot the next day. In my mind they were big problems. I had built them up. I was anxious. 

The very next day, by 9:06 a.m. the problems were solved. Customers were happy. 

Done. 

I spent some time thanking God for His help, while also asking for help to accurately view challenges. I’m prone to dramatize or exaggerate - suffering more than necessary. Especially in my mind.  

I also thought about areas in my life that I never pray about. 

One of those areas? 

Jude. 

I wish that weren’t true. 

I’ve indulged in a cocktail of bitterness, unbelief, fatigue and anxiety so long that it has built an emotional and spiritual blockade. I know God can do great things for Jude, but I struggle with the day-to-day evidence. The slow march of incremental milestones. 

On my best days I understand that on some level that God’s got her. It doesn’t look like I imagined - or even like I want - but God’s got her. He’s providing. He’s protecting. He’s loving. 

As I struggled this week with the boldness to pray big prayers for my children, I had two great examples to follow. 

The first, my favorite story in the Bible, Jesus in the Garden. My ultimate example. Jesus went to a place so deep with God in prayer that he began sweating drops of blood.  Anguish. 

When is the last time I even prayed hard? Have I ever? Jesus had all heavenly authority and still went to the father in prayer boldly, deeply, with all human energy.

I’m a disciple asleep a few feet away. 

The second example comes from a friend. He was praying with his son. Their conversation after went like this . . .

“This don’t work. I told God I wanted more toys and he didn’t give them to me.”

“Sometimes God doesn’t give us exactly what we ask for, but he gives us what we need.” Dad replied. 

“Then I’ll tell him I NEED more toys and see what happens.”

Sadly, I’m the son in this conversation. A little boy asking for toys, doubting the effectiveness of prayer. All while ignoring the evidence that God has met every need. Ignoring past examples of answered prayers. 

But even as I struggle in my own prayer life. Even when my faith is weak. Even when I’m not where I should be - He still answers my prayers. 

He did this week. 

Thursday. 

9:06 a.m.

God help my unbelief. Grow my faith. Help me pray boldly, specifically when it comes to my children. Help me put away bitterness and impatience and have the desire to talk to you. Amen.