Strong, Not SIlent.

Graham Plane. 

I have a contact in my phone saved as Graham “Plane”. I don’t know his last name. We met on a Frontier Airlines flight from Orlando to St. Louis. 

Frontier is already an experience - sitting in a stiff old lawn chair for an entire flight hoping that the rookie pilot makes it. But imagine a delayed flight that now takes off after midnight. Every passenger looked tired and cranky. 

Except Graham Plane. 

He was drunk. And extremely scared of flying. And, because I have one of those faces, he talked to me the entire flight. 

I tried my best to look asleep, to look distracted, to look disinterested. Megan was even a physical buffer between us . . . until he asked to swap seats. Thanks Megan!

We landed. He hugged me and shouted “WE MADE IT!”. 

Frontier Airlines finest. 

He still sends me texts before he gets on a flight. A few have said “I wish you were here”. 

Like I’ve mentioned before, people everywhere talk to me. Cashiers, servers, strangers, prospective customers . . . 

They all find me. And willingly and openly share their life story. 

I met a gentlemen recently who was struggling. 

He was on the phone with someone, face in hands, almost in tears. Parts of his life were crumbling. He was trying to salvage what he could. Whoever was on the other line was helping him develop a plan, a path forward, a first step. 

He gave me a signal to stay as I tried to escape and give him privacy. He hung up the phone shortly after. 

I apologized for interrupting his privacy and again tried to get away. 

He began to share. 

He talked about all he was going through. Financial struggle. Problems with his ex-wife. His speech was somewhat slurred or muffled. 

I’m not sure what compelled me - it’s likely the Holy Spirit’s leading and the Chuck Smith sermon I had just finished on surrendering our life.

It’s not natural for me to do this, but I asked him if he believed in God. 

He leaned forward into the light, pointed at his face. It was swollen. Scarred. 

He told me that he had been through multiple surgeries after attempting - and surviving - suicide. 

I imagine the scar tissue muffled his speech. 

He shared the reason he tried to take his own life. 

His answer to my question about faith was not a yes or no. God had delivered him from physical death and he simply showed me the receipts. 

We prayed. I left. The end. 

I turned to leave while telling him “I’m glad you’re here.” 

Special needs parenting can be isolating. Especially for the dads. We carry the unseen and unspoken weight of leading, providing, and protecting. The temptation is to act stoic, showing no weakness or fault. The temptation is to do everything alone. To suffer in silence. But the good news is . . . 

No man has to fight alone. 

First and most importantly talk to God. 

Then find a family member. Find a friend. Find a church. Find a workout group. Or like Graham, find a stranger. 

When you’re lonely, you’re struggling, you’re at your end keep going. And please remember . . . 

I’m glad you’re here. 

And more importantly . . .

Your kids are too.